God’s Will or Mine?

Life is hard. It’s a struggle. Especially when going through a difficult time. You lean on God. You pray for wisdom and guidance. You seek Him above all else. But still, sometimes, you are unsure of the path to take. Well meaning friends give advice. It sounds good, especially since they are Christians. But other christians give different advice. Who is right? Who do you listen to? This is something I have struggled with for several months. In the beginning, I felt God telling me to pray; persevere in prayer; and to show love, respect and grace. That went against several people’s advice. However, since I believed that was what God wanted, I did it anyways. I also sought God more, making sure I heard right, and God was faithful to maintain what He had said. Now, several months later, I am still seeking God and still questioning whether what I am doing is right. Most of the time I feel it is, but other times I am not so sure. Maybe those people are right. Maybe God is telling me to do something different and I’m not listening because I’m too afraid. I have had times in my life when I knew what I was doing was not what God wanted but I did it anyways, too stubborn and/or afraid to change. During those times I was not spending time praying about the situation or seeking God. This time is much different. I am praying, seeking God, desiring to be in His will and do His will above all else. While I agree those people could be right, I’m not convinced they are. I’m still hoping I can be/am one of those people who does what they feel God is telling them, even if it goes against the norm, believing God is mighty and is going to do a miracle. Am I just naive and deluded? I mean, who am I? It’s not that God can’t do what I am praying for. I know He can. But maybe I’m just being stubborn and too afraid to do the “practical” thing. How do I know other than to keep praying and asking for wisdom?

I read a devotion about grapes and raisins. Grapes are a sign of God’s promises. They don’t last forever though, but raisins do. They sustain during the dry, rough times. So when God has given a promise, but has yet to fulfill it, eat the raisins of God’s faithfulness. Chew on all the times He has proven Himself until He is ready to fulfill the promise. God has shown me over and over that I need to pray, keep praying, persevere, have faith to believe my prayers will be answered, have hope. While I keep praying for wisdom and guidance, I will chew on all God has done and all He has shown me. I do pray if I am to do something different, God will lay it on my heart, burden me, break my stubborn will to do it. Otherwise, I pray for strength and courage to keep doing what I am doing, waiting for that miracle and God to be glorified.